Be Honest, What Do You Think?

Dear Someone,
So what do you think when you see her walk down the hall.  Yes, that her.  The one you said you loved.  The one you hated to see unhappy.  The one you promised you wouldn't hurt.  The one you held until her eyes where dry and her smile was back to her lips that you said you liked.
Does she still have that amazing look she had the first moment you saw her.  Or those times you held her close and thought that she was the most beautiful girl under the starry sky.
Be honest.  If you don't feel the same as you did before.  Why do you look at her with such a worried look when you see her crippled in pain?  Why must you give that look that can make any one's heartbreak?  Why do you want to be there? Why do you try to help? Why?

Say Something.
Anything.

Is all of that just because you feeling bad?  Is it ever going to be how it use to be between you two? Ever? Is that completely gone now?
Are all of these stupid questions? If so, then her head is full of them.  She can't stop thinking of them when she sees you in hall. Wanting to talk to you but, not sure if you even see her, even though she's standing right in front of you. 
The biggest question of all. Do you even care about her anymore, or is she just another anonymous face in the hall to you now.
Be Honest, What Do You Think?

Chasing Yellow

Dear Someone,
Ok! So.  In creative writing, we all looked at my poem. OHHH MAN.  Let me tell you.  I was really nervous for it.  I worked pretty dang hard on it.  Got slightly obsessive over it (Yeah.. you could ask my sister.  I had her read it at least 10000 times before I thought it was OK enough to maybe turn in.) Well... I moment came. I had to read it out loud.  Yes. I had to restart cause I FAIL EPICLY at reading out loud.  I totally knew that was gonna happen.. Oh well. I got through it.  So I read it and had to keep my mouth shut the rest of the time. which I realised now is really difficult for me.. But some how I made it through wile every one went though and picked apart the poem i spent hours on writing and trying to make perfect.  Yes, people noticed my one spelling error.  Darn... I was hoping no one would notice it... Oh well.  Ok. few key points I would like to say that i didn't say in class.
1: There are yellow diamonds. They exist
2. The capitalizing on the first and last line. I did that because.... I like how that looked.... That's really it. Not gonna lie.
3.  Yes, the three words where "I Love You" But how lame would it have been if I just said "Saying I Love You again" or something along those lines.... Yeah it would have been lame.  But yes I looked at the papers and every one got it correct! It was I Love You! AWESOME yall cracked the code :D So give you're self a good ol' pat on the back.
So, yes I looked through ALL the papers every one wrote on.  I loved the comments.  It made me laugh when people tried to find the acrostic.... it turned out to be something like..
SITAIHITTWMMSYTHIIFTNISAIIETLTMS... yeah.. try saying THAT 5 times fast.  Ha, yeah.
Alot of people said that it was kind of reminded them of Twilight.  That makes me laugh.. Almost everything I write, draw or ANYTHING people always say it reminds them of Twilight. Yet nothing I do involves a party-hating-crazy-obsessed girl with a love triangle with a vampire and a werewolf.  But I can see why people would think TWILIGHT! Because the emotions in that are so real.  Not the obsession over a vampire man but the breaking up, feeling alone stuff. 
I loved how people read it backwards and got something different out of it.  I tried reading it backwards when I wrote it and it made NO sense to me, so I intended it to be read just top to bottom.  When people said it could have been about death I went back and read through it.  I can totally see how that would go! It makes sense, too. My mind was totally blown away.... OK not really but I though "Oh. Hey... That's cool!"
Ok, also looking back though the papers alot of people where confused as to why I changed the "font" for the word yellow.  It was just so you wouldn't miss it.  That was my favorite word in that WHOLE poem.  So, even though it confused you... you still noticed it..... my point exactly.... :)
Oh, also. like 98% of every one said "AWESOME TITLE" or "I <3 The Title" and I would like to say THANK YOU!! I enjoy it very much as well :D .. Some people didn't get it.  But one person in the class got it right.  It pretty much ment like "Chasing Stars" but.. that seems so lame! LAME LAME LAME! So. Chasing Yellow. ooo gives it a mysterious vibe that you feel like you might need to figure out!
Another thing.  On the part that said
"I can't help but think of you. How I loved you. I look at the empty spot next to me.  The place where you should be."
I saw a lot of comments that said "Ugh. So relatable :(" and alot of relatables and sad faces. AH THAT MAKES ME SAD! How lame is it that every one has to know this stupid lame pain. It sucks! Why must we go though that?? I guess there really isn't a way to avoid it.. Either way though its lame. So, I'm very sad and sorry that any of you had to understand that misery of missing someone like that.
OH another thing.
The part that said. "Feeling alone. The silence.  Nothing." alottttt of people said to get rid of the nothing part.  But some one said this during class (again... I forget who.. SORRY so many people said stuff I can't remeber who said what) It is that feeling of being numb.  That speical person was there. Then, with out warning.  They are gone.  Like, something was there then it just disapeared right before you can blink.  It takes you a little to fully understand that its gone.  There is confusion and yor left standing there trying to think what the heck just happen.
Also. I realize my gramatical error in the first line... It should be Lie not Lay...Eh... I know its not right but I like how it sounds the other way.  Like you know. I like saying funner instead of more fun.  Even though its wrong... I still say it.
Also, a lot of you asked who the person was in the relationship.  Honestly.  I don't really know.  I kinda just made up people and a whole story that went with them.  But honestly, poem. NOT. ABOUT. ME. some people thought it might have been about me cause of certain events that have happened in my resent past.  But. Trust me. This was not about that.
Ok.... I think thats it... If you honestly sat here and read though every thing I just said, AWESOME you are cool! But if you have any questions or... comments. you should comment on this post(:
OH! ONE MORE THING!
Thank you every one who drew me a picture! Almost every one wrote next to their picture "Sorry my drawing sucks." but no! I LOVED ALL OF THEM! I loved the little stick figures and everything(: I feel so loved that every one would draw pictures on mine(: Honestly, I had no idea ya'll would do that(: so. THANK YOU!!!!
I'm also glad that every one liked it(: TOTALLY made my day(:
Ok. That's all, thanks for listening to me talk about my poem....
Chasing Yellow

This.. This right here ^ Is a Yellow Diamond.
So...
Yes, diamonds can be yellow.
Just so ya know(:

When You Need a Moment Twix Bars are Niffty

Dear Someone,
So hey, look I'm a teenager now.  And now that I'm all "grown up" and i can drive and have my own car and what not that I am responsible enough to mean what I say. Even if its not like... Nice things.  But honestly alot of times things just kinda...slip out. Then people get angery. Not not just your friends, but your parents, teachers, siblings.  You just say things as they come to mind.   
But hey I'm a teenager.  That seems to be the norms of teenagers.  Even if we like it or not. Stupid mistakes just happen.  What I wouldn't give for a twix bar at those moment.
Like you know in the commericals where the guy is talking to that girl he thinks is mighty attractive and he says something that can be taken very offencively.  Then he just pulls out his handy dandy twix bar.  He takes a bite and every thing just stops around him, he has time to think about how to fix it.  And then he just smooth talks his way out of it. 
That would be pretty sweet, not gonna lie.  Expeically if I was with a guy, and I said something really lame. That would be nifty. But saddly, I'm not a smooth talker.  I would probbaly think of something I THOUGHT was smooth then the moment it leaves my lips... I realise..  It's really not and it makes everything more awkward.  Then I might need another twix bar, and that time remember that I'm not smooth at all so I should just not even attempt it.
Yet I dont think the magical chocolate bar is gonna be helpful in some situations. . .
But it would be nice to take a bite of a delicious carmel filled, chocolate covered cookie bar thing and take a moment to just step back.  Think about what you just created.  The snow ball that was started out with one word then just kept getting worse and worse.  Bigger and Bigger.  Then it's just gonna get so big it will just crush you in the end.  Leaving you flat on the floor like an ant you just steped on.
Lovely image huh? But...
When You Need a Moment Twix Bars are Niffty

We Have Chemistry in Biology

Dear Someone,
So.... Chemistry.  It's always the class in the movies where that hot guy is and he gets paired up with a girl they just seem to fall for each other quickly.  Yes, because they have "Chemistry" together.... Hahaha oh I love cheesy jokes.  But, I can see why that might happen though.  You have to do labs, and look at all these results with a partner and that normally ends up being the person you sit next to.  You know how it goes, the teachers like setting it up boy, girl, boy, girl.  So, developing a crush on the guy you sit with might happen.  Yet...
Fate always has it where you either sit next to fine piece of man who happens to be popular or the dorkis.

Sitting next to the hot guy, at first you feel like luckiest girl in the world because.  Come one. Look at him...  He's McGorgeous!!
Then, after a wile you realise.  The only thing he seems to study in that class is the annoying cheerleader who thinking talking loud and being all around obnoxious is "cute" (I don't have a problem with cheerleaders at all.  I'm just mentioning it because she is a cheerleader and... frankly she fits that movie stereotype that every one pins with cheerleaders.) But, you don't care because he is so attractive you don't mind having to do all the work because maybe if he thinks you're smart he might be like "Oh hey, she's smart and a cool person. Not to mention how amazing she looks!" ... Yeah that doesn't happen.  They just kinda take the work you do and live on with their happy little popular life.
So, you could get HottieMcHotPants over there or you could get that nerd guy who smells weird and wont let you do ANY of the work.  Even if you want to do some of it. 
Personally that bothers me, cause there are those occasional moments where I actually want to do something that involves calculating and writing out like a paragraph about the lab.  But that's very rare so when I want to, I want to.  Then the nerd guy is like "Ew. No you'll ruin the whole thing! Just sit over there quietly and try to keep your cuddies away from the project wile I work over here acting like a know-it-all smarty pants." But then they can also take the project or the lab or WHATEVER it is way too seriously.  Like...Nerd kid, take a freaking chill pill.  It's not gonna totally kill us if we talk about something other then the project for more than a second.
Yes, the nerds bother me, and so do the Hot to Trot popular guys. 
Can there ever be like. a mix of the two? Like an attractive fellow who is nice and actually help you with the work yet can have fun with it? YEAH! That would be perfect! 
Yes, a hot yet nerdy guy would be wonderful. Yes the kind that when your biology teacher called out the seating arrangements your heart jumped and you thought "Heck freaking yes!! HES HOT!"  Then you get nerves because, hey.  He's hot, he plays football, and he's popular.  You don't want to make a fool of your self.  Then, after you start working together a little.  He kinda is different from the other hotties you have sat next to in the past. (Not like you sat next to that many...) He's actually nice and can keep a ten minute conversation going about something totally random and way off topic.  That and he's actually really funny. Then there is that rare random moment were you say something and it's actually really funny and you make him laugh pretty hard.  Then after that you guys talk in class.  Well. not wile the teacher is talking cause that is rude, but at the appropriate time you can talk, you do. So hey, maybe.. 
We Have Chemistry in Biology

See.. Do you see that?? ^ Perfect excample. 
This picture is from the Movie "John Tucker Must Die"
and It's the perfect example.  Cute girl is partners with cute guy and
they are doing a lab and they end up liking each other.

Act Like a Two Year Old and Drink My Chocolate Milk

Dear Someone,
You know, there are those random moments in the day where I just want to put my hands up to my ears and go "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" because, there are somethings that you can't handle knowing.  Like those things were half of you wants to know what is going on and the other half doesn't.  But the half of you that does want to know takes over then, when you find out.  Then you wish you hadn't found out, like seriously.  I could have lives my whole inter life without knowing that information.
Life seemed so much simpler when no one told me anything because I was too young.  Yet it didn't.  I remeber getting so frustrated because people wouldn't tell me anything.  Keeping secrets from me.
Either way, not knowing and knowing are both VERY frustrating.
But for right now Id rather..
Act Like a Two Year Old and Drink My Chocolate Milk.

Silly Christofer Drew, You Fall For Girls Too Easily.

Dear Someone,
Ok, I love NeverShoutNever.  It's a band, but the main singer is a guy named Christofer Drew Ingle.  (Yes... He's awesome!) Anyway.  He came out with a new Album called "Harmony"  Obviously I got it.  As I'm listening through each song I realised he's talking about how he's fallen in love with girl and either writing a broken hearted song or singing about how they met.  But, how they met in some of the songs changes. There is no way all the songs are about the same girl.
I also realised that a TON of other bands do that aswell. Song's about diffrent girls in the same album.  Like All Time Low (also another AMAZING band I suggest you look them up because they are that freaking awesome!) They have a few songs, but just two i noticed.  One song they have is Dear Maria Count Me, wich is singing about a girl named Maria. Then they have another song called Stella (which is AMAZING by the way. Go look it up.) but, its about a girl named Stella. . .
So I have come to the conclusion that singers are just very passionate.  Obviously because they let their emotions out when they are singing on stage.  So i guess having that much passion and emotion would lead to falling hard for people fast.  And I can kind of relate.  I'm pretty clumsy anyway, I'm always tripping over my own two feet.  I don't know if its my clumsiness but I fall hard for people really easy as well.

I'll just sit here and listen to these songs about different people and how they just fell for them from the first moment they saw them dancing, or walking, or simply eating a sandwich. Yes random but true! They fall for these girls so easily, write a song about it then get heartbroken... Then write another song about how hurt and sad they are.  But I sit here and think...

Silly Christofer Drew, You Fall For Girls Too Easily.

Stupid Stuff Hurts, Too.

Dear Someone,
I was completely over it.  It happened what seems like forever ago. It was all in the past, nothing to worry about.  Everything got worked out, I understood the reasoning of the other person. 
Yet, yesterday, I realise something.  I realise the lie that was told straight to my face. That one night that happened forever ago flooded back into my head. (Ok it was really only two weekends ago.) My new found information fitting in perfectly with every word said, every action made. This made the awful heartbroken feeling come back, harder this time because its not so confusing and fuzzy any more.  The cuts reopened, creases refolded. Tears coming to my eyes out of frustration and my stupidity.  The defiant feeling of being cheated on was there... Even though I know I wasn't, not really. Emotionally? Yes, I guess you could agree.  
I'm deciding to not tell any one what I discovered.  I don't want to reopen the drama that had happened that night as well. Sides suddenly chosen, people hating the others with out me realising.  People coming up and saying "I'm on your side on this".  How could they be on "my side" if I was still undecided? I'd rather not get people pissed off again.  Avoiding the stressful drama is probably the best thing to do.
There is no way to escape drama through.  Somewhere out there someone is always causing it.  Guys or girls. Lot's of people think guys have "no drama" and girls are just full of it.  I happen to think that is a load of crap. Guys cause a lot of drama, too.  They are just more chill about it.  That's just my perspective of that though, other people can think what ever they want.  I personally don't care.
But, either way.  That whole thing is just stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. So it should be a snap to get over it, right? Psh, not that big of a deal. It's stupid stuff, no need to cry over it.  People sometimes don't realise it but...
Stupid Stuff Hurts, Too.